Let's Get to Know Each Other Blogger Tag!

This may sound a tad silly, but I have always wanted to be tagged in a blogger tag. Weird, yes. But I love the idea of bloggers asking each other thoughtful questions, answering honestly, and sharing new questions with another set of bloggers and keeping the chain going! It's a great way to get to know each other, find new blogs to read and bloggers to know, AND support small bloggers! Win-win-win!

And guess what: just as I was wishing I could tag myself to do a blogger tag (is that lame? Guys, I really, really wanted to do one), I was tagged by the lovely Amber over at My Life in Limbo after she was tagged by another blogger. So thank you Amber for tagging me and making my blogging dreams come true! Okay, I'm excited, so let's get started! Here's how it works:

The Rules:

1. Answer the 11 questions that your nominator has asked you.

2. Nominate 11 other bloggers (with under 200 followers)

3. Ask your nominees 11 questions.

4. Let them know that you have nominated them!

Alright, so I may be tagging people who have OVER 200 followers, but that's only because I like these bloggers and want to hear their answers to my fantastically original (NOT) questions. And also, it's totally okay if the bloggers that I tag don't do this tag. I'd love it if you did, but if it's not your thing, I get it and just know that I tagged you because I like and respect you and your blog and want to get to know you better. That's all. No pressure! 😊 (But seriously, if you do the tag let me know and then tag other bloggers and keep the it going!)

The bloggers I'm tagging are...

singlevegasgirl
Ashley: @bolognabudget
Kimberly: @KayyThevv
Kala: @Kala_Mari3
Siobhan: @fuller_siobhan
Marylou: @itsrylou
Leah Rachel: @reading_while
Aleksandra: @OlaGrab
Nicky: @knickknack99
Emma: @Emma111996
Alex: @inafieldofbooks

Now, it's time for the 11 questions that Amber came up with!

1. Where is your favorite place to go to when you’re feeling down or disconnected?
If I'm feeling depressed or disconnected, I find that actually getting out and being around people helps. It's almost reassuring to remind yourself that you're not alone in the world and life is still going on. It's weird how you can ground yourself just by being around people you're not going to even talk to!

2. Besides blogging, what is your favorite hobby?
Reading, hands down. If I could read all day, everyday, I would. If my job could be Official Reader of Books, I would have the credentials, the degree(s), and be the best in the business!

3. What have you learned about yourself while blogging?
Blogging has really encouraged me to let out my creative side. I've always has an active imagination, thinking of scary horror stories (I love all things paranormal- ghosts, demons, hauntings- FYI), but never actually writing them down. Seeing everyone on Twitter, their blogs, or even Wattpad chase their writing dreams or even just writing for fun has inspired me to actually put pen to paper (well, fingers to keyboard) and write my own stories. Am I any good? Who knows! I just love doing it and it makes me happy and that's really all that matters to me.

4. What is a favorite quote of yours?
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am"- Sylvia Plath

5. What is your favorite television show?
I can't pick just one!! Don't make me choose! I absolutely love 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, I Love Lucy, Gilmore Girls, The Simpsons, Black Mirror, and Shameless. I couldn't possibly pick an all-time favorite!

6. What is the blog post that you are most proud of? Why?
The blog post I'm most proud of is probably my post about being more open about having mental illness. I've always kept my mental health very private, one, because I felt like no one I knew really understood or could understand, and two, because I've always been embarrassed about the fact that I actually have issues with my mental health. But thanks to so many awesome mental health bloggers that I follow, I've learned to be more honest about my experiences, and that it's okay and even appreciated when other people share their stories (It even helps spread awareness to break the mental health stigma). Just admitting that I suffer from OCD, depression, and anxiety (and more), was like a weight was taken off of my shoulders and I loved how understanding and encouraging people were online once I shared my post. It just warmed my heart and reminded me that I'm not alone and that other people DO know what I go through or at least can sympathize. And it's slowly giving me the courage to talk about my issues more with my family and friends. (Who knew a blog post could do so much??)

7. What are you grateful for?
My family, no question. They've always supported me, no matter what. Sometimes they drive me crazy, and I'm sure I drive them crazy, too, but I'm honestly so lucky to have them and know that they're there for me, always.

8. Why did you start blogging?
I actually started this blog as a way to keep track and share my experiences checking things off of my bucket list. But it slowly morphed into so many different directions, like talking about books and sharing my stories about travel and my life experiences. I decided to reinvent my blog and talk about whatever weird things I wanted to and not to limit myself to just one topic. And so That Weird Girl Life was born! 

9. What is your guilty pleasure?
I love watching YouTube. I love it! I could spend hours watching the channels I've subscribed to, and I could watch hours of random videos I look up on weird subjects, like old girl and boy band interviews from the late 90's/early 2000's, video footage of (supposed) real ghosts, and documentaries/interviews about/with serial killers. My interests are obviously quite varied and sophisticated (and slightly creepy, to be honest).

10. What is one new thing you’ve started doing lately?
I've started getting into doing crafty things. And by getting into, I mean buying cross-stitch kits but I haven't started any of them yet. All of the patterns are super easy but now I'm terrified of starting a cross-stitch kit and messing it up! It's the perfectionist in me!


11. What do you love about your life?
I already said my family, so is it okay to say my cat? Or is that super sad? I don't care, I love that furry fluff ball who sheds like it's her one job in life (it is) and cuddles with me at the most inopportune times and never when I'd like her to. She's now 13 years old and crotchety old lady cat (she even has an old lady name: Harriet!) but I still love her to bits. I'm her person and she's my cat 🐱💖


And here are my 11 questions for my tagged fellow bloggers:

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
2. What time of day do you do your blogging? Do you usually work in the daytime or are you a night owl?
3. If you could only eat one candy or chocolate for the rest of your life, what would it be?
4. What is your go to movie to watch when you're feeling sad or upset?
5. Has there been a book that has changed your life?
6. Which Disney movie scared you the most as a kid?
7. What is the hardest thing for you about blogging?
8. If you had to recommend one musician/band that everyone should listen to, who would it be?
9. If you could sit down and chat with any fictional character (from a book, movie. or TV) who would it be? And what would you talk about?
10. What is something that no matter what, always makes you laugh?
11. And if you had to pick: cake or pie?

Let me know if you do the tag, I'd love to read it! Let me know in the comments if you've ever been tagged to do a blogger tag!

Stay Weird,
Emily

Book Review: The Cottingley Secret by Hazel Gaynor

That Weird Girl Life

[Disclaimer: I received this book for free after winning a giveaway from Goodreads through the book's publishers, and in exchange am writing an honest and fair review. All thoughts and opinions are my own]

William Morrow Paperbacks

Book: The Cottingley Secret

Author: Hazel Gaynor

Genre: Fiction

Subgenres: Historical, romance

My Review and Thoughts: I had heard of the Cottingley fairy photographs when I was younger, and I remember being so intrigued by the photograph of Frances, posing with her chin in her hand, staring slightly off camera while small fairies danced in the foreground. The idea to a young little girl that fairies could possibly be real was the most magical thought I could ever imagine and I wished with all my heart that it was true. Then I learned it wasn't true and I remember being so disappointed when I found out it was all just a hoax by two girls (but I wasn't the only one who was fooled!). But when I learned that author Hazel Gaynor wrote a historical fiction account of the girls behind the (in)famous photographs, I knew I had to read it and review it. Would it be a fictional account of two girls and their rationale behind one of the biggest hoaxes ever? Or would the book have us believe that the girls were telling the truth and fairies were/are -gasp- real? 

For those who don't know, the tale of Frances Griffith and her cousin Elsie's photographs of supposed real fairies back in 1917 (and also took a few more pictures of the fairies and gnomes over the years) in the English countryside actually happened. Those series of photographs taken by the two young girls took the world by storm, and made believers of even famed author and spiritualist Sir Arthur Conan Doyle during the dire days after World War I. After years of Frances and Elsie sticking to their story of the fairy photographs being real, they finally revealed in the 1970's that the photos were faked (they used cut out pictures of fairies and gnomes and used hat pins to pin them to the ground). All except for the last photo which they've claimed was the only real photograph out of all of the pictures they took over the years.

The story is told through two seemingly unconnected stories, told one hundred years apart. In 2017 Olivia, a lost in life 30-something year old who works as a bookbinder in London and is unhappily engaged to a man she knows she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with. After her mother died when Olivia was young, she was raised by her grandparents in Ireland where her grandfather owned a secondhand bookstore, Something Old. Now her beloved grandfather has died, and she heads back home to check on her grandmother, who's suffering from Alzheimer's and living in an assisted care living house, and to see to Something Old, which her grandfather left her. Going back to Ireland seems like the perfect excuse to get away from her approaching marriage and the left she knows deep down she doesn't want, but when she reads a typed, hand-bound manuscript of Frances Griffith's "Notes On a Fairy Tale," a family heirloom that has been handed down from the women in her family over the years and something her grandfather sent her before he passed, Olivia soon discovers a magical piece of history that connects the Cottingley fairy photographs and Frances to her family and to the mother she lost when she was so young- possibly with a hint of fairy magic.

The book then switches to Frances' unpublished written account starting in 1917, of Frances' move with her mother from South Africa to Cottingley, England, to live with her aunt, uncle, and cousin, after her father leaves to fight in World War I. There, while she misses her father and South Africa, she bonds with her older cousin Elsie, and discovers a small hidden garden in the woods, with a flowing stream. Drawn to that lush, green garden and beck, one warm afternoon she discovers some tiny, creatures flying in the garden from the corner of her eye. Frances is determined to keep it all a secret, her little secret, even from her beloved cousin Elsie. But as Frances is reminded by her favorite teacher Mrs. Hogan, secrets have a way of coming out, and with the gloom and depression that hangs over the families worried about their loved ones during the first World War, the idea of fairies seems like such a light in the unbelievable darkness and soon enchants the world- whether Frances wants it to or not.

Both stories were interconnected, emotional, and incredibly moving and relatable, and completely swept me away in the most unexpected, wonderful way. Hazel Gaynor's writing is simple and easy to read, which keeps the story moving between Frances and Olivia at a steady pace but lush and emotional when it needs to be. The descriptions of the English countryside were lovely, and I could perfectly envision the green garden and woods where the fairies supposedly flew. The historical events and figures combined with Gaynor's own interpretation of what Frances and Elsie felt when members of the Theosophical Society in London and photography experts come to investigate these intriguing Yorkshire fairy photographs, were combined with realistic ease, as two frustrated young girls just wanted to live their lives and keep a secret, while the whole world searched  and prodded for an answer only Frances ultimately knew. And Olivia's very real struggles, of being lost in love and in life, is incredibly relatable, and unlike a lot of other main characters in other modern fiction novels, you aren't annoyed or frustrated with her decisions or lack there of. You want her to succeed, to find out what she wants in life, and to be happy, and are grateful for the discovery of Frances' hand-written memoir that sets a series of events into motion for Olivia and ultimately changes her life.

Though there were only two main characters in the book, Olivia and Frances, who were both compelling and very relatable, it was the secondary characters for me that really made the book. Frances' cousin Elsie, aunt, uncle, and her teacher Mrs. Hogan, to Olivia's grandparents, her grandparent's old friend and now Olivia's mentor, Henry Blake, and handsome local writer and frequent bookstore customer Ross and his young daughter Iris all made the book come alive and bloom, adding even more depth and heart to it's already two charming protagonists. Even the bookstore, Something Old, brings along it's own rustic charm, filled with books that hold so many stories, through their old typed word and past lives of their old owners, to the large storefront window where some seemingly magical flowers start to bloom around a fairy door Iris places there and draws customers to the store. All of  these elements- human characters, secret family history, romance, the lush English and Irish countryside, and the idea of fairies- all blend together to make one of the most charming and captivating stories I've read in a long, long time. 

It's not very often a book literally encapsulates the word "enchanting," without actually being a sweeping fantasy novel, but The Cottingley Secret pulls it off and then some.

Should You Read It: In my honest opinion, if you love historical fiction with a hint of fantasy (aka the idea of fairies, not some grandiose novel set in another land with human/dragon shapeshifters), I think you'll love The Cottingley Secret. I seriously could not put it down and was swept away with the story and imagery and characters. This will probably be the book that I recommend the most to people this year, so do yourself a favor and read it so I won't bother you about reading it! (You're welcome in advance!) Because we all need the idea of fairies and magic in our lives, don't we? (I'll answer for you: we do!)

Stay Weird,

Emily

Grab a copy of The Cottingley Secret now so you can be swept away by magic and fairies! ✨

Also, how gorgeous is this cover?? I seriously could not stop taking pictures of it! So beautiful! Could this book be any more perfect?? 😍

That Weird Girl Life

Why I Don't Dye My Hair (Anymore)

Photo by Tore F on Unsplash

Disclaimer: I'm not looking down at anyone who dyes their hair (to each their own!). This post is just about my personal journey to realizing what dyeing my hair really told me about myself and learning to accept me as a person. So if you dye your hair and don't really understand what I'm talking about, at least just amuse yourself with some of these awkward pictures of myself back in the day with some awful dye jobs! It's hilarious. trust me. Well, hilarious to you but mortifying to me. Enjoy! 

It has just crossed my mind that it's been about two whole years since I've last dyed my hair (the color, you may wonder? Mahogany red-brown. More red than brown and not the exact color I was going for, but oh well). I always thought I knew why I decided not to dye my hair again: to save money and because I'm lazy and find the upkeep annoying (obviously). But after some careful reflection, I think I may have discovered another reason why I've chosen not to dye my hair anymore.

But let's start at the beginning and take a trip down memory lane...

I became obsessed with dyeing my hair back when I was an emo teen (yes, I was an emo girl. My Myspace profile name for the longest time was Emo-lee. I thought that was so clever. *cringes*). And of course the color I wanted to dye my hair was BLACK. I've always had brown hair. Not dark brown, not light brown: just BROWN. I absolutely hated it and thought it was the most boring color in the world. I decided it made me look dull and faded and since I was so edgy and emo (My Chemical Romance and From First to Last were my go to all time favorite bands forever and ever, that'll never change- well, guess what. IT DID. Sorry, guys) I, of course, needed a hair color to match my dead, broken emo heart that only beats for music that has screaming in it (what were we thinking then??).

But before I wanted to make that big decision and dye my hair for the first time, I picked up some wash out purple hair dye just to try it out. I had my friend dye my hair for me and though you could barely see the purple in my hair (because my hair is brown and remember, this was temporary hair dye), I was hooked. This was the emo girl I was meant to be! Dyed hair, every t-shirt I wore had to be black, and my studded belt from Hot Topic must be worn with every outfit! (And I was determined to master heavy eyeliner despite the fact that I didn't wear makeup before this and having anything like a finger or a eyeliner pencil near my eye seriously grossed me out. And still does). It was destiny! And so my hair journey began!

The next color I dyed my hair was black. For my birthday I was given a gift certificate for a haircut and color at a salon. And you bet I used that up ASAP! Sadly I don't have any pictures from that day, but you better believe that I had a full on photo-shoot afterwards and posted those pictures on Myspace! (Thank god I can't remember the e-mail I used for Myspace or my account number. Going back on to my old Myspace account would be a journey I would NOT want to take!)

From then on, my hair was black. And I either had my mom, sister, or a friend dye it for me because I could not be trusted with dyeing my own hair (read about that at the end of the post! There's photographic proof of why I'm not allowed to dye my own hair!).

Sadly, my emo phase came to an end and out went the black hair dye. For a short while, I decided red was my color. Bright red. As you can see, though I was no longer emo, I still preferred black and grey clothing. And dark, dark eyeliner and eye makeup. (Does it make me look dead inside and out? Then I guess I was making my face look like that!) But after that red hair faded (let's be honest. I literally wash my hair everyday so my hair color never lasts), my hair returned to its boring brown color. And there it stayed. For a time.

Then I was dating a guy and we broke up (story of my life). I was devastated but didn't want to admit it. So instead I decided I needed a change. How about a new hair color??? Yes! That'll show him I'm doing fine without him! How about a nice, natural red color? (You know, unlike the unnaturally colored one I had previously dyed my poor hair) And guess what: that guy I dated loved redheads! That'll show him what he's missing! (Yeah, great idea, Emily. If only I had a time machine to warn you...)

And then, I got back together with that same guy (I'm such a fool!). And later on in the relationship (with my hair in its natural brown state again), when I was starting to feel insecure in the relationship and was trying to figure out if being together was right or not, I decided to dye my hair. For me, I thought, not for him. It's not like he's said that he's into redheads (remember from above?) and I wanted to make him- I mean, myself happy (oops. See what I did there? But please note, despite the face that it didn't work out with this guy, he was actually a pretty good boyfriend and he didn't insist on me dyeing my hair. That was all me and my own insecurities. We just weren't right together. Just letting you know!). But did it? Not really.

Why did I keep dyeing my hair? And what finally convinced me to stop and just accept my own naturally brown hair?

I came to realize that I saw dyeing my hair (or even getting a new haircut) was a way to symbolize a a big change in my life. That when something happened (sometimes good, usually bad), I either wanted to change myself to fit this idea I had of me (or someone else's idea of me), or I wanted to change myself to make a fresh start, or try out a new and improved me.

Basically, I wasn't happy with myself. My boring brown hair represented the real me, the someone I can't change but so desperately wanted to. I had to learn the hard way (as in, dyeing my hair so much that I'm sure once I stopped my hair was finally able to breathe and say "thank you for not torturing us anymore! We're freee!" And then about a dozen of my hairs fell out. I shed a LOT) that I needed to accept my own natural hair, meaning my own self, just the way I was. I was dyeing my hair and trying to change who I was, or convince myself that I was a newer, better version of myself. But you can't change your appearance and think that will solve all your problems. You have to do those things yourself, by working on you, from the inside, not the outside.

And when I had that epiphany, that's when I knew that I needed to learn to accept myself, and come to terms with being me. I'm not going to lie, it's been tough. What with all the new hair trends, like pastel, rainbow, unicorn, and mermaid hair, it's hard not to have hair envy. But I know I can't hide behind a new hair color or cut anymore. I need to be okay with me and who I am.

It's weird to think that a revelation about not dyeing my hair anymore would put me on a path to self-acceptance. But I'm so glad it did. And I'm actually starting to like my brown hair. It's not so plain, and it even has some red and gold highlights in the sun. And you know what? Brown suits me. It fits my skin tone, my eyes, and my personality. I'm 100% me and working on feeling fine about it!

Dyeing your hair can make you unique, but not dyeing it and just being yourself also makes you just as unique and special. Do whatever makes you feel good and makes you the best and truest you that you can be! Hair dye or no hair dye 💖

Now, I wonder what I'll be saying once my hair starts turning grey...

Do any of you dye your hair? What color is it currently dyed? Or are you au natural like me? What are your thoughts on dyeing vs. keeping your natural color? Let me know in the comments below!

Stay Weird!

Making the Grey Stuff From Beauty and the Beast!

That Weird Girl Life

I cannot tell you how excited I am for today. Because today, the live action Beauty and the Beast comes out on DVD/Blu-ray! Which means that I can now own it, and watch it as many times as is socially acceptable for a late 20-something year old to watch it (so, no more than twice in a row, obviously). But in honor of this day when an AMAZING new version of an old classic is being released to the general public, I thought I would celebrate by making the famous dish that was name checked in one of the best songs and scenes in movie history: the Grey Stuff from "Be Our Guest"!

Disney/That Weird Girl Life

You know, as in: "try the grey stuff, it's delicious! Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!"

I can't be the only one who's wondered what this swirled pile of grey goo on a cracker(?) was and, more importantly, what it tasted like. Was it savory? Sweet? Or something gross (and incredibly unethical) like foie gras? I recently learned that you can actually order and EAT the Grey Stuff at Disneyland and Disneyworld! And it is neither savory or foe gras! It's sweet, like cookies and cream whipped topping, apparently. It's maybe not how they originally animated it in the original Beauty and the Beast movie, but in true Disney parks fashion, it's been recreated with a sweet and stylish makeover. Sometimes served by itself on a plate, or on a cookie, or at Disneyland, red velvet cake covered in the Grey Stuff on a scalloped shortbread cookie and at Disneyworld, a chocolate cake covered with the Grey Stuff and also on a shortbread cookie- whatever way, it sounds delicious! And this newly vamped Grey Stuff certainly looks way more stylish than it did in the OG movie.

*Check out this delicious sounding article from Buzzfeed where someone documented their journey of eating the Grey Stuff for the first time!

So obviously I'm going to have to make some of this stuff myself to see what it tastes like, right? Since I can't get to either Disneyland or Disneyworld right now (but hopefully I'll visit both parks sometime in the near future!). I found some copycat recipes online (including one from the official Disney Family website) and have decided to follow these instructions (which involve different pudding mixes, Oreos, and whipped topping. I've seen other recipes that just involve Oreos and frosting, but I thought the pudding one sounded more interesting to try. Plus, it's the most popular Grey Stuff copy cat recipe). Let's get started!

*Much thanks to the sites/blogs, Lil' Luna, The Disney Diner, and Disney Family for their Grey Stuff recipes!*

Here's what you'll need for the Grey Stuff:

• 1 small package (3.4 oz) Instant Vanilla Pudding mix
• 1 1/2 cups whole milk or 2% milk
• 15 regular sized Oreos
• 1 small tub Cool Whip or whipped topping (8 oz)
• 1-3 tablespoons Instant Chocolate Pudding mix (some recipes said only 1 tablespoon of chocolate pudding mix, others said more. I think how many tablespoons you put in will all depend on how grey you want your Grey Stuff to be, so it's up to you!)
• Pearl candies or pearl sprinkles (I found a Wilton multi pack of different types of black, white, and grey sprinkles, including some teeny tiny round ones which I'll just use at itty bitty pearls to decorate my Grey Stuff)

For the cookie base, I just used a sugar cookie mix (gasp! I know! Not from scratch?? How dare I!) and used a flower shape cookie cutter to make the scalloped edges. I made the cookies the day before I made the Grey Stuff, just to cut down on the cooking time. Because sometimes it feels like baking can take forever, with waiting for things to chill, then bake, then the dreaded clean up, ugh.

Instructions to Make the Grey Stuff:

1. In a medium bowl, combine the Vanilla Pudding Mix and milk. Mix well with a whisk and then refrigerate for 5-10 minutes.
2. Blend Oreos in a food processor until they're blended into a crumbs (no big crumbs!)
3. Take the pudding mix out of the fridge and mix in the Oreo crumbs.
4. Fold in the tub of whipped topping into the pudding/Oreo mixture.
5. Add 1-3 tablespoons of the Chocolate Pudding Mix and mix until you're satisfied with the grey color. Put it back in the fridge for at least an hour to chill before serving.
6. When you're ready to serve, put the Grey Stuff mixture in a piping bag and pipe a swirl onto a cookie (you can either use a plastic baggie, or an actual piping page with a tip to make it look fancy). Decorate with with pearl candies or sprinkles.
7. And you're ready to serve! Bon appetit!

I bought a cheap set of four disposable piping bags plus adjustable star shaped piping tips. I'm not the best when it comes to decorating cookies and cupcakes, but I enjoy doing it. I just forgot that since the Grey Stuff is a mix of pudding and whipped cream, and it's incredibly hot today, it melts super fast! So I tried to pipe as fast as I could, but with some of the bigger Oreo chunks (I tried to make them small!) getting stuck in the tip, I ended up squeezing too hard and the Grey Stuff came flooding out of the piping bag, landing in a poo-like pile on the cookies. I did my best to rectify the situation by adding some swirls to give it that pointed top (and obviously to make it look less poo-like. Sooo unappetizing!) But look how pretty (some) of them turned out!

That Weird Girl Life

That Weird Girl Life

That Weird Girl Life

But now the most important questions is: HOW DO THEY TASTE??

I'm not going to lie: I used to be a big pudding fan, but I've kind of grown out of it. And if you hadn't noticed, this recipe is ALL PUDDING. Especially since I added 3 tablespoons of the chocolate pudding mix to make it extra "grey," which then made it taste even MORE like chocolate pudding. You can taste the Oreos too, but the chocolate pudding taste is overwhelming (in a good way, if you like pudding). Adding the whipped cream gave it a much lighter consistency, which I enjoyed. Overall, it was really delicious, but pretty rich (again, probably because of the 3 tablespoons of chocolate pudding mix I added!). It was easy enough to make, but maybe next time I'd use regular vanilla frosting with added Oreo crumbs to make my own Grey Stuff (I mean, to make that swirl of Grey Stuff that would be a LOT of frosting and Oreos, but I'm one of those people that likes more frosting than cake and I love Oreos so it sounds perfect to me!). I even saw at the store that they make an Oreo cookies and creme pudding mix, so I'm sure if you wanted to skip some steps and ingredients, you could probably just use that as a main ingredient instead!

That Weird Girl Life

Overall though, I'm so happy I made my own Grey Stuff to celebrate the release of Beauty and the Beast! It made a perfectly festive dessert to eat while watching the movie, and added to the experience of the fabulous "Be Our Guest" song/scene. They turned out better than expected (well, not really, but I was able to make them prettier. So I'll call that a win!) and frankly, I'm glad they weren't a savory, foie gras type of food. Hopefully one day I'll get to try the official Grey Stuff at Disneyland or Disneyworld (or both!), but for now, my own will do as I keep rewatching the original Beauty and the Beast and now the newly released remake! (Again, I'm a late 20-something year old. This is how you adult, right? By eating themed Disney desserts and rewatching Disney movies. If so, I'm adulting RIGHT!)

🌹

Is anyone else super excited for the remake of Beauty and the Beast being out today to own and rewatch again and again like me? Have you tried the Grey Stuff at Disneyland or Disneyworld? How as it? Was it delicious? Have you tried making your own? Let me know in the comments!

Stay Weird,
Emily

What's In My To Be Read (TBR) Pile! Vol. 2

That Weird Girl Life

You know the old saying: when one book closes, another opens. Okay, yes, I know that that's not a real saying, but honestly, it should be one in the bookworm community. Because there's always another book to read after you finish reading your current one. Especially if books just keep magically appearing (aka you keep buying them) in your to be read pile, like mine do. (Funny how that keeps happening, huh?) I myself can never say that I literally have nothing to read, because if I did, my TBR pile would come to life and punish me with paper cuts for never reading them and for getting their jackets all dusty and cat furry (which honestly is my cat's fault for shedding so much. And it's probably also a little bit my fault for not dusting as often as I should. I hate dusting). Speaking of books that are silently judging me for not reading them in a timely manner, let's look at all of the new unread books that are joining my older passive aggressive unread books on my book shelves! Enjoy!

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Harper Collins

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? Not that long. My older sister let me borrow it, since it's one of her favorites books, plus it's a classic that I've never read before (I really need to start reading more of the classics!)
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? Because other books are calling my name! It's not Rebecca's fault!
When Will I Get Around To Reading It? Soon, I hope. Even though I know the twist since when I was younger I saw the PBS adaptation on TV many many years ago. But hopefully the book will still wow me even if I kind of sort of remember the ending.

The Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy, The Shocking Inside Story by Ann Rule

Pocket Books

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? Just since around my birthday in February (Thanks, Barnes & Noble gift card!)
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? As much as I love morbid things, I feel like you have to be in the right mood to read about a sadistic sociopath serial killer (just me?)
When Will I Get Around To Reading It? Probably soon, since I love dark and disturbing things and this book definitely sounds like it'll be especially dark and disturbing! I mean, Ann Rule volunteered with Ted Bundy and considered him a friend! That gives me chills just thinking about being that close to a serial killer and NOT KNOWING.

We Hear the Dead by Dianne K. Salerni

Sourcebooks Fire

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? Actually, not too long. I found it at a used bookstore around Easter and instantly bought it when I learned it was a historical fiction take on the Fox sisters (early Spiritualists in the 1800's who may or may not have been faked being able to contact spirits. Look it up, it's fascinating!)
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? I don't know...I love historical fiction and anything involving the paranormal so why haven't I read it yet??
When Will I Get Around To Reading It? Soon-ish....? I hope. Knock on wood like the Fox sisters supposedly did to contact the spirits? (That was a stretch!)

The Run of His Life: The People V. O.J. Simpson by Jeffrey Toobin

Random House Trade Paperbacks

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? The same sister who lent me Rebecca also lent me this. Everyone in my family has just watched the tv series The People vs. OJ Simpson and we were all obsessed so my sister was the one to buy this book the series was based on. I was really young when the OJ Simpson trial happened so I find the whole thing so interesting.
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? Like a lot of true crime books, I feel like you have to be in the right mood to read something so morbid and sad. (Because OJ totally did it. Right?)
When Will I Get Around To Reading It? Sometime in the future. Probably when I'm feeling up for trying to understand the American legal system (which I probably never will and is why I'm not pursuing a legal career).

The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin

Algonquin Books

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? For a little while. My other older sister (I have two!) lent this to me saying it was a fun, literary read that I would enjoy. I honestly just took it without reading the description on the back so when I do read it, it will be a complete surprise!
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? I honestly forgot I had it until I was looking through my TBR pile to make this post! Oops! But now that I remember I'll make sure to read it. You know, after I read all of these other books...
When Will I Get Around to Reading It? See above question. I swear, I'll get around to reading it and then finally returning it to my sister!

The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

Candlewick Press

How Long Has It Been In My TBR Pile? Not for too long! I worked an estate sale a few weeks ago and found this classic in a small pile of books (which I immediately foraged through once I found it!). I've always heard of The Tale of Despereaux but I never read it for some reason. But from what I can see it's a kids book about a mouse and he has a sword (maybe?) so I'm totally down!
Why Is It Still In My TBR Pile? I just got it! Cut me some slack!
When Will I Get Around to Reading It? Probably when I'm in the mood to read about an adorable mouse who hopefully goes on an adventure and like saves a kingdom or something (I only know that the book is about the mouse. Again, going in blind and hopefully being pleasantly surprised!).


What did you think of my newest additions to my TBR list? Have you read any of these books? Which ones should I read first? Am I missing out on reading some really good ones by being a bookworm procrastinator aka getting distracted by new, shiny books? Let me know in the comments!


Stay Weird,
Emily

Why I'm Being More Honest About My Mental Health

Phew.... this may be the most personal and hardest things I've ever written.

In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to be upfront and honest, for once. Not that I'm not usually upfront and honest, I usually am. About some things. Other things I like to keep to myself. And mental health has always been one of those things.

I had always been taught that mental illness is something that you keep to yourself. There was obviously nothing wrong with having it (mental illness runs in my family so it wasn't exactly too much of a shock when I was first diagnosed as a kid and my family has always been so supportive throughout my life living with my illnesses), it's just that some people aren't always so understanding about the subject matter. And as much as I wanted to believe that what I had been brought up to believe wasn't true, I knew in my heart of hearts that it was, at least during the time when I was a kid and a teen. From awkward silences and blank stares when I tried to bond with my "friends" and tell them about my issues, to more recently guys I've dated bringing it up as a major issue in the relationship, I had to admit that mental illness still had a stigma. But not to some brave individuals.

I've been so inspired by the mental health bloggers that I follow and their honesty when writing about their mental health journeys. It almost shocked me when I first found out about the mental health blogging community. I immediately thought, "they're openly talking about their issues? Like, admitting them? Out loud??" And yes, they were. They were posting blog post updates about their struggles with depression, anxiety, OCD, you name it. And no one was judging them for it. In fact, everyone else who commented on a blog post, or tweeted during a mental health chat, were so encouraging and supportive to one another. Having a mental illness wasn't a taboo, it was just a fact. It was so unlike my own life, where I only talked about my mental health to my doctors and family. I just assumed no one else would understand. But it turns out a lot of people do. 

I've written about anxiety and depression before, but in a hopefully helpful and humorous way. I didn't get super personal about my own struggles with anxiety and depression but I obviously alluded to it. So I may not in fact be the best mental health blogger, but I am trying to help out the community, even in my little, unassuming way.

But now that it's Mental Health Awareness Month, I finally feel like I want to be honest about my own mental illnesses. And while I admire the people who are so open about sharing their issues and stories, I myself only feel comfortable sharing a small amount of my struggles. Maybe because I'm still going through several things currently or maybe it's because I fear the judgement that I've always known (or maybe just imagined) would come along with being open about it, but there are some things that are too painful or even too difficult for me to revisit right now. And I've come to realize that that's perfectly okay. These are my stories to tell, whether I choose to or not.

But I will share some of the things I've been treated for or have gone through (whether officially diagnosed or not). And guys, this is big for me. Like, I rarely share this (for obvious reasons explained above) but I'm doing it now in honor of this fine month of mental health awareness. So, without further ado, here's my list of crazy:

•Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Good ol' OCD. You were my first. Where would I be without you? Happier. I would be HAPPIER)

•Depression (Hello darkness, my old friend)

•Panic disorder (It's supervillian power: Able to pop up at the most inopportune time at the speed of light!)

•Anxiety (It's like having a mini panic attack all. The. TIME. Fun, right??)

•Eating Disorder (Anorexia nervosa, NOS, due to my OCD. I hate it when my mental illnesses gang up against me)

•Emetophobia (Puking is literally the bane of my existence. Literally) 

•Agoraphobia (You know it's bad when you're too scared to leave the house to go to Target. Target, I say!)

•Trichotillomania (OCD's younger, annoying hair pulling sibling)

I seriously just let out the biggest breath after typing that! What a weight it is off of my shoulders to say it! Mind you, a big, scary weight. It's out there in the world now!

Maybe I'll write about my struggles with them one day, or maybe I won't. But I honestly feel so empowered just admitting what I've gone through and what I'm still going through. I'm still here. Yes, it's severely impacted my life, from finding the right schooling, a good job that I could benefit from rather than become it become a hindrance, and just life in general. But I haven't let my mental illness beat me. I've traveled out of the country, shared adventures with friends, had relationships, all despite sometimes dealing with some pretty intense bouts of mental illness. No, my life isn't perfect and I'm not exactly where I want to be right now, but I'm trying everyday to not let my mental illness run my life (I mean, these disorders have squatted in my brain for so long that's it's kind of tough to kick them out). And I have to believe that these dark periods and thoughts are only temporary, and it'll get better in the future. For me, and for everyone else who is struggling right now.

It's okay to talk about your mental health and it's fine if you'd rather keep it to yourself and select others, rather than sharing it with the world. Both are perfectly acceptable and it's up to the individual person. I just wish that this community existed back when I was a kid/teen and felt so alone, but I'm so so glad it exists now and that anyone can access these awesome communities and resources.

But I think that everyone out there dealing with mental illness or know someone who is struggling can agree that every month, not just May, should always call attention to mental health. So if you want to, share your story, or just show your support in honor of those struggling with mental illness. It's more common than you think and remember, you're not alone! There is always help out there and it will get better ♥

Stay Weird,
Emily

Book Recommendation: Introvert Doodles by Maureen "Marzi" Wilson

Adams Media Corporation

Book: Introvert Doodles: An Illustrated Look at Introvert Life in an Extrovert World
Author: Maureen "Marzi" Wilson

Why You Should Read It (In My Humble Opinion):

Introverts unite!

But separately.

And, you know, in our own homes so we don't have to actually interact with each other in person.

Texting or Twitter is probably best. Don't even think about calling me on the phone or FaceTiming me!

I always thought of being an introvert (or what I always thought of myself before I knew about introverts: being shy) as a major hindrance to my life. I never really knew there was a term for what I was, except for the fact that I'd rather be alone, at home, reading a book, than at a party with lots of people surrounding me. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my family and friends, but if I'm at a big gathering, I have to excuse myself every so often just to escape to a quiet room and regroup. I wished that I could be just like everyone else, who always seemed to flourish and come alive when other people were around. It's like they fed off of other people's energy and become more lively, while for me it seemed like being around others sapped my energy and would leave me physically drained for days after. Basically after an evening out, my battery is drained. But when I first found out about introverts (and extroverts, an introvert's polar opposite), I felt like I had finally found my people. There were others out there like me!

It filled me with joy to know that there were other people who would rather stay at home and read (reading IS an adventure!) than go out, are more creative than outgoing, are deep thinkers, and good listeners. I still consider myself shy- but that's sometimes just an easier way of saying I'm an introvert. While I have embraced being an introvert, it does come with its problems. Meeting new people is a lot more challenging and tiring than it would be for an extrovert. Finding a job that can possibly use your introvert personality and creativity can be a pretty difficult search (one I'm currently working on at the moment. Can't this blog just be my job? Ugh!). It seems like just because you embrace who you really are it doesn't make having that quality or personality any easier.

I had never read anything about being an introvert (even though apparently there is some great literature out there, apparently. Uh oh, more books to add to my TBR list? Um, well, okay!), but my sister (also a fellow introvert. Is it genetic??) let me borrow her copy of Introvert Doodles and I have never felt so understood. Maureen "Marzi" Wilson is a talented illustrator and fellow introvert herself. After wondering why she always felt so awkward and out of place (or "backward," in her words) during social interactions, yet felt so relieved and comfy when she was finally back at home reading with her dog, she did some research and found out she was, in fact, an introvert, and everything finally clicked into place. She has now fully accepted her introvert lifestyle and wants to reach out to other introverts like her and tell them via her comics that introverts are awesome!

This book couldn't have been handed to me at a better time. I've been feeling really down about life lately, especially about my lack of people skills. But reading Introvert Doodles has instantly put a smile on my face and reassured me that I'm totally normal because I do a lot of those things that cute little blonde introvert girl does in the book (who I am assuming is based off of Marzi herself) and that so many other introverts do as well! It's so silly and hilarious, and the cartoons are simply drawn but so cute, and the best part is is that I GET IT. I get all of it. Even the most outrageous and ridiculous situations, it's all true. Everything I've felt as an introvert, Marzi has basically illustrated it ALL: Feeling secretly relieved and rejoicing that someone canceled plans? Marzi gets you! Need some introvert reward stickers to look at after you do something brave for the day, like for talking to people and making phone calls? Marzi drew it for you! (And me! You bet I'm going mentally reward myself with those stickers from now on for trying to adult like a normal person) Or how about a cute illustration of relatable animals (Rabbit: skittish when approached. Chameleon: blends into surroundings)? Marzi's got you covered!

Introvert Doodles is a fun and funny way of viewing what an introvert goes through everyday, without being mean towards introverts or even extroverts who may not understand. It's a must read book for introverts (in my opinion), just so you can remind yourself that, yes, there are people out there just like you, going through the exact same things. Plus it's absolutely full of adorable and oh so relatable cartoons illustrating your struggles as an introvert, in almost any situation you can imagine. So buy a copy for your introverted self, give copies to your introverted friends (because you know exactly what they go through every dang day) and heck, buy a few copies for your friends who are extroverts, so they can know what goes on in your day to day life- and so they know that it doesn't offend us if you cancel plans with us. It just means we get to get into our PJ's, snuggle with our furry pet, and watch Netflix all wrapped up in a blanket on the couch like a human burrito. So really, we should be thanking you for canceling our plans and making our night!

I think it's safe to say that I'm buying myself a copy of Introvert Doodles and will be rereading it whenever I need that introvert pick me up. Thank you, Marzi, for writing and illustrating a lovely little book about all the struggles- and joys- of being an introvert! I'd love to meet you someday- but you know, we can skip the actual human interaction for a Twitter exchange. I think that might be preferable for both of us! ♥

Stay Weird,
Emily

Buy a copy of Marzi's book, then grab some chocolate, a blanket, your furry pet, get cozy in a comfy chair and feel that kinship with the other introverts in the world. But, you know- by yourself. I'm an introvert, I totally understand 😘